The opposite of Norm
My “norm” is chaos! It has been for a long time now. School, parenting, D/s, work, family… it all adds up and makes life very hectic. It’s normal for me to feel like I am losing my mind. It’s normal for me to be perpetually upset. Problems are VERY normal!
But lately, it’s been the opposite of the “norm” around here. Daddy is home with me, my daughter had a fantastic week and weekend, my usually-pain-in-the-rear sister was a HUGE help all weekend, I’m rested, no headaches, less homework….. things are going .. WELL!
It’s strange really. Don’t get me wrong, of course I am absolutely thrilled with all this. It’s just odd for me. I feel like with everything running rather smoothly, there is nothing to talk about, worry about, or get excited over. It’s been a rather nice vacation from the usual.
With things running more smoothly, I’ve had some time to get plans underway. I’ve got the contract for the place our wedding and reception will be held. I can’t believe we’ll be able to afford such a GORGEOUS place!! My dress is all planned out, colors are chosen, date is set, and the guest list is nearly complete!
All the wedding planning got us talking a bit. We had previously discussed going to pre-marital counseling… mostly because of Daddy’s inexperience in relationships and my fears and hesistations brought on by my own previous bad marriage and divorce. Daddy has decided he doesn’t think that would work for us. He’s afraid we won’t be able to be as honest as we would like because of our Dynamic. I wasn’t able to find any “kink friendly” therapists in our area. Our best bet seems to be for me to go alone to talk about and possibly work on any of the “hang ups” I have about marriage.
We discussed our fears, expectations, and feelings about the fact that we have only 11 months to go until we are married. After being engaged for over 2 years, you’d think we would have gone over this before! I guess it really just didn’t seem real until that date was printed out on the contract. I am sooo glad that we had that chat. I told Daddy about the things I was concerned about.. and he told me the only thing that made him nervous was he worried that things would change after the rings went on. That just so happened to be my greatest concern too! I’ve seen it happen too many times to too many people. They get married thinking that things with their relationship will improve OR never change. That is just not reality.
Times change, people change. As we age, our likes and dislikes change a bit. Our personalities sometimes even bend. Our goals change with our careers and lifestyles. It’s unrealistic to believe that a ring and a peice of paper will “fix” any problem, and it’s also realistic to believe that the person you are with will remain exactly the same forever. We talked about all this and how we feel about it, and I think we are very close to being on the same page.
I told him about the things I worried about. How I was worried he would stop helping out around the house as much as he does. How I was worried he would get “bored” with me and want to experience another woman. How I was concerned about having another child and how that would affect his relationship with Princess. We discussed my exhusband and the fact that until Princess is 18 (and possibly even after) he will be either in our lifes or there will always be that possibility.
After that talk, many of my anxieties about life after the wedding are at least a bit less vivid. I feel allot more comfortable getting some things off my chest. The major benefit was that I was again reassured that no matter what our Dynamic may be, I am always encouraged to talk about ANYTHING that I am concerned about and Daddy will do His best to make sure we talk through it and take any steps that need to be taken so we both feel comfortable.
I know things will not always be perfect, but given our past, present, and what I can guess about our future, I believe we will be able to survive anything with a little honesty, patience, and love.
One thing we easily agree on is that our post-D/s life is much MUCH better than our pre-D/s life and that this dynamic works wonderfully for us! The only concern Daddy pointed out was that he would like me to continue working on Respect. Showing Him my respect is one thing that is very important to him and I am NOT to lose a single bit of that before, during, or after the wedding.
