From the mind of the little one

It’s no secret… ex’s are NO fun.  No matter how amicably the relationship ended, it is no fun at all to run into an old flame or have them haunt your new life and relationship.

I have way too many exes! I’ve been a serial monogamist for as long as I had an interest in boys (and/or girls for that matter). Which means not only do I have a myriad of exes, I have them in both genders and some that were very attached to me or I was very attached to them. The worst is my ex husband. We have that whole marriage thing plus my daughter came from his sperms.

I wrote earlier about him trying to pop back into my life to mess things up again. Luckily, I thwarted that with a cold and to-the-point email. I didn’t want to scare him away if he ever decides to go from sperm donor to father, but at the same time I don’t need his nonsense when I have enough on my plate already. Well, ever since then I can’t stop dreaming about him. Thank goodness they are not real memories or lovey-dovey junk.. but annoying enough anyway. I keep dreaming that something happens to Daddy and the ex comes back to try to “reclaim” me and my Princess. I resist, he persists.. I wake up annoyed.

The other ex bothering me is a hairy matter as well. We were only together for less than 3 months, but those were some of the most intense 3 months of my short life! He was my first “master”. The one I finally opened up to about my D/s wishes. The first person to match my fondness for TPE and actually help me “break out” in the lifestyle I had been so curious about for so many years.

And I lied… I lied almost every day to him. I told him I loved him and I never did. I just had very intense feelings about my own submission and was greatful to him for allowing me to explore that side of myself. I still feel guilty to this day for lying to him for that long… even after the nasty things he tried to do to me (attempted to sleep with my sister, etc, etc).  Well I ran into him the other day too.. and it brought that guilt back and the annoyance I always felt.

I was driving home from work after a VERY trying day. I had gone into work quite sick (my daughter gave me her flu-like bug) and had listened to construction all day. I also had the “pleasure” of getting yelled at for 20 minutes about something one of the owners of the building did. I have NEVER even met the guy… yet I took the heat for his f-up. Nice..
Anyway, so I am driving home and get stuck in a small bit of the 5 o’clock traffic on the highway. I am looking around trying to find something amusing to stare at until the cars start moving again, and who pulls up behind me but Faux-Master! ICk.. he is really a “nice guy” for the most part, but there are things about him that have always annoyed me beyond belief. Reasons why we would have never made it as a couple even if the crazy times didn’t get in the way.
Even with him just in the car behind me, I got that cringy feeling I used to get when his little quirks were making me want to stab him with a fork! Then the cringies turned to that guilt I have for lying. THEN the guilt turned into a little jealous since I had just days before learned from my sister that he had taken his new girlfriend to GREECE!!! It was all too much tummy-churning feelings for being RIGHT after work. Luckily, I was in my “new” car.. the one I got shortly after we split. With my long hair, huge sunglasses, and “new” car I’m pretty sure he had no idea it was me. *Phew*